The Evening After

In life, there will continue to be firsts.  We will always reminisce about those times because they remind us of the value of that instance and its altering of our world and perspective as we thought we knew it.

I write for me, for you, today acknowledging "the evening after."  The common reference "the morning after" serves its purpose in providing the opening for an awakening to happen after we've had a night's rest.  It is effective because we believe ourselves to have dreamt the occurance and somehow are awaking, wondering if it was a dream at all.

And when we realize indeed it was not a dream, but that happening which may or may not include another person was real, we bask in it and remember that reality does bring a wealth of reflection and knowledge to our lives.

Instead, I'd like to challenge us to think about "the evening after."  The more immediate reflection allows us to clarify and deepen the instance's meaning to our lives, giving us a sense of distilled memory that protects us from likening our deep reality to the distant feeling that the dream state allows us.

Can't Sleep, Must...Blog...

Inefficiency, chaos, distance and happiness, contentment too. Lists of who to be, consistency in the God that is...and always will be. Truth in the light and joy of small things, but darkness unfolding the disconnection of family ties.

Kindred usage of what was thought to me deeper than just a minority. Sense was selfless as hair was cut to unimaginable lengths. Shorter than ever but the beginning of stronger than ever, on the inside too. Tough as steel but tougher still because tears were not allowed. A heart softened and abused but only due to the exterior allowing the weaker link to get weak. Now vulnerable but seemingly shielded, the process renewed and faith restored.

Now the +1 of a status, minority report re-upped and allowed now to manifest destiny to be destined to be great. As life settles into Divine routine, so does the soul, the mind and the heart follows suit.

Claiming a reality not totally magnificent, clouds remain. Not yet a time for clearing as it was a time for incubation. The regrowth of cells reborn and new to eyes already present. Listening for further instruction. Ready, willing, totally capable of rebranding, but it may have been too soon. But maybe it is now seen as too late.

Clearer skies ahead, the veil admired, not for that which it hides, but for that which is concealed. Concealment is choice and hiding an involuntary mechanism for protection.

Presence in all identities fades not the prior and following attendance to the rest, but in lieu, assists others in finding the shine that is their own now and then, today and yesterday, years to come and years that have gone, all seeping authenticity at every stage for we are allowed to and need to incubate and change, lather rinse and repeat as often as we deem necessary.

Paz.

Always,

@AmBBitious

*Sent via BlackBerry

Luxury

At first it was an endless route, paused by a transfer, filled with friendly strangers who welcomed the open seats symbiotically.

Then, we became enthralled, the ego and I, into thought processes that revolved around wheels that sat snug in axles and added to the sound of traffic and pollution present in the invisible life's blood we inhale.

At first ego and I were hesitant...we pored over options and used pages of tree matter to scribble in ink what options were near. And then, what options were far... Almost a year later, the reflections still abound. Filled with scribbles of profiles and symbols and options that would delight a custom-made enthusiast, but instead made ego and I dizzy with discontent.

Layers of pages fell away, as my borrowed and yet to be seen financial flow became restricting and comforting in narrowing choices.

Ego and I sat, and thought, and prayed, and waited, and thought some more. Then she appeared...

Out of thin heir it seems, and from the sought advice of new associates, pointed me to opt in for the luxurious choice. Ego chose first, then as the latter I followed.

A gift to me, celebrating my years in existence, I coined her name relative to a flower I adore. It then became my standard, the life I aimed to live, glamorous, pretty, leather, sunroof, spacious.

As a reflection on ego's choice, I realize now, that, the 'then' was laced with want and rooted in need. The sun became too close and the nights late for earning hours. I felt dependent when independent needed to be present.

Now as I prepare to replace the rubber-glass slipper of her choice, I do realize ego's non-attention to my supplemental limitations. Praises go up for 3 checks in one month. Needed and desperately guarded for future expenses. "Smart money is the only choice for ego's honey," I say.

Now on to thinking ways to cut corners and bloom into stability, ego must be trained. Not only to obey, but to sincerely surface when needed, as we are an inseparable pair...

Until the next choice, the best choice is presented, I continue the process of push and pull to benefit and control us both in our sobriety for comfort and luxury.

This has thus confirmed the story, of my first car purchase. End to end... "She wants to lead, the glamorous life.... ....without love, it ain't much, it ain't much." ~Sheila E.

~Fin.

Always,

@AmBBitious

*Sent via BlackBerry

Voting Time!

The Blog-A-Day in May challenge is over.

Please vote by Sunday, June 6th at 12pm.

Blog Participants ONLY - Only use this link if you were in the competition.

Readers ONLY - Only use this link if you were not in the competition.

Paz.

Is that the end?!

Before:

Life going along as it does. Writing coming infrequently and sporadically depending on how much inspiration moves me. Reading blogs that I am used to and that fall in line with my personal interests. Writing focus more on larger projects.

After:

Consistent writing. Networking. A passion and appreciation for the before and after of everything. An interest in topics other than the norm. Connections made through writing and camaraderie within a competition.

Still:

Writing with a purpose. Inviting the web world to hear my voice through prose. Recording history as I see it and sharing history with each post.

Paz.

Zzzzzz...

Restless, exhausted, full from a hearty meal...just plain old tired.

Our pillow seems as if it is calling our name, asking us to come and rest. Sleep is a mental and physical regenerator. Our minds organize, store and discard information and memories and our bodies mend and heal and relax from another hard days work.

We welcome the rest at times, during others, it is though we are overcome by it, almost hypnotized by a spell.

As morning approaches, we a roused awake by our internal clock, jolted awake though angry beeping or serenaded awake from soft musical notes or the soothing voice of a loved one.

Depending on the activities prior to sleeo we may meet the world fresh and ready, groggy and dragging (until we get our morning coffee) or slowly approaching the new day at the same pace of the sun, creeping on the horizon.

Cheers to a Good Morning for all my readers out there!

Paz.

Sent by me via my BB!

Panqueques...

Prior to owning a home the thoughts of self maintenance and upkeep are someone else's responsibility. As we enjoy a space that is temporarily ours we are sure not to take it to home make over extremes or breaking down walls to create a personalized living experience.

Still unsure of the after myself, I have heard accounts and seen experiences of those who own homes and those that rent them too. The many leaves to be raked, the busted water tank, the lists of repairs and scheduled home depo visits...

Most of all the pride of cleaning and maintaining a home you own, basking in the comfort and relaxation of your space; full of the warmth you've added and welcomed into it.

Home is where your heart is? Or is it that home is where your home is?

We find ourselves looking for a place to settle, knowing that when we see it, when we drive through the city streets, that our heart will know it. Let's just hope that when our heart awakens to it, our mind will be open to listen, and our journey facilitated by Divine intervention.

Paz.

Sent by me via my BB!

zoom Zoom ZOOM

Dropped off

Picked up

Waiting on buses

Wearing down sneakers and sandals

After cozying into the driver's seat of your first car the memories of hopping rides and being confined to the mapped bus lines seem so far, far, away.

Life after learning how to drive you gain a sense of confidence. To add, life with a car brings a traveling freedom and possible financial stretch if not careful with planning.

Paz.
Sent by me via my BB!

Precipitation Granted

'when it rains it pours'

'there is always sunshine after rain'

'singin' in the rain'

'joy and pain, like sunshine and rain'

Dedicated to my Friday and your Friday too.

Mostly the day will begin with a damp breeze and clear skies. The sun will beam down on the earth as if wanting to embrace every inch of each leaf and flower. As the day progresses, the clouds swirl, much like the blending process of a McDonalds flurry.

The sky goes from soft blue to a purpleish grey rising from one corner of our horizon slowly to the next. They grey clouds dominate the sky and thunder is heard in the near distance.

Instant thoughts - where is my umbrella, ella, ella, eh - eh - eh?

Hey! Found it! -->
As the rain begins to fall, the clouds sigh in relief. No longer holding the weight of precipitation, but now free to float higher or dissipate. The ground filled with much needed water and nourishment and brought to life after being drained from hot afternoon sun.

The smell in the air following a power shower of raindrops is warm and sweet and woodsy. The moisture clings to the air surrounding us and our own feelings feel as fresh as the quenched ground we walk on.

Enjoy the featured clip...one of my favorites, a classic and inspiration on how to live and love life indeed.

Paz.

Niños

A blessing, a responsibility, a challenge and a reward.

Living life minus the responsibility of a dependent is carefree. Time to devote to self exploration or hours of thoughtless TV watching. Freedom of choice to uproot and relocate and planning for one. Minimal thoughts of what the future holds for another and focus mostly on our own goals.

The life of those with children are not the opposite, but instead, enhanced. Some parents are made by choice, others do the choosing. The time comes in a person's life, in a parents life, where you choose to involve yourself. You can be just as much of an active parent as you can a distant one, even when living in the same home. You choose whether or not to attend the games and performances or to devote your time to your personal work (hobbies, employment, nothing, etc.).

Your choices now become a part of the life of the dependent. The independence is lost but your identity remains. Feed both and you succeed.

Paz.


p.s. I posted to the wrong blog at first. Oops! That would have been bad.... ::sigh of relief::

Papyrus

Prose dedicated to pages everywhere.

As thin to drift in air it is weightless now. Prior to, written in stone.

Stone withstands and becomes stronger with heat. Leaflets and sheets vanish in heat, are malleable to crumple and mistaken for trash if not typefaced.

Writing in stone takes time. Letters etched with metal objects that were born in fire and molded to facilitate communication through script but with pictures first.

Symbols came to replace the oral histories and stories of the ancients.

Stone stories preserved, paper ones too.

Now? Intangible locationless space ridden words floating with no owner except if linked. And if not, a chance for anonymity and communication blogreaderworthy. But then, where are you when I need you? Oh, that's right.... Google Search.

Are we losing our grip on script or tangibility? Is holding more important than pressing send? Is publishing worth more when your text reaches a library and reaches me by chance? Or is your reaching me now heightening my need for you and your need to be recognized?

Last days of challenging have given way to inspired prose dedicated to the pages that remain unread of mine, unheard of advice, and still not published.

Finish line in sight. Keep running, keep writing, etch it into stone. All the while, remaining protected from the elements and forever ingrained in hearts, no matter the time -past or future- just presently scribed.

Paz.

Rainbows!!!!!!!!!

Prior to today, weather made sense. Rain came in Spring, Sun in Summer, Snow in Winter and the leaves fell in Fall.

However, after watching the ground swirl with leaves and getting caught in the rain while the sun was blindingly bright, I am not so sure of my weather expertise.

Before the weatherman, we leaned on the lived accounts of weather patterns and the smell of the air.

Now we watch forecasts and google temperature outlooks. We trust computerized technology to tell us when the sun will rise and set and what our wardrobe should reflect.

Except when it rains in the sunshine unexpectedly and is followed rainbows...

Paz.

Sent by me via my BB!

Track: Paper Planes - Artist: M.I.A.

Flight.

A blessing for the birds and a means of quick transportation for the rest of us.

This topic crossed my mind as I was myself thinking about travel and my next destinations. Prior to the advent of flight, we were restricted to bikes and skateboards, or for the balance challenged, walking and running. Our destinations were to the next street over, down the street, or more simply, to the front or back yards, even stoops for the city folks.

As we grew older more methods were introduced, cars, buses and the good old Greyhound...oh Greyhound...the stories you've given me to tell, lol.

And then....*imagine action building musical sequence* the Air Plane! Do you remember your first flight? Do you remember your most recent flight? What was the difference between the two, the most salient memories? Take a peek at the clip below, one of my favorite wake up calls to our new advanced reality...

Paz.

If you can't take the heat....

Get out of the kitchen!

As I prepared my early dinner today, I couldn't help but to think...how would I have done this sans stove?

My dish would be rearranged. Instead of enjoying a hot meal, I might have decided to have fresh fruit and berries, or a nice salad abundant with veggies, maybe a decadent smoothie.

Generations before us used stones to make sparks that started fires and clay to ground wheat for bread. The process for meal preparation was a long one, and the importance of maximizing use of everything was key.

Vegetables were cultivated and cared for. Animals were treated humanely and slaughtered with dignity. We took of what the land offered us and we cared for our earth as a partner in living.

But wait, some people still live like this. Bless them. It's us who don't and who wouldn't know how to plant broccoli, much less slaughter an animal as to make their exit from life quick and painless. So what do we do? We buy groceries!!! (That's what I do...)

We all take these things for granted at times and especially when the microwave comes into play. Impressed, we enjoy a piping hot meal that went from frozen to consumable in just under 3 minutes! Amazing.

Paz.

Agony of defeet

As little ones shoes were not necessary but worn out of cuteness. Other places around the world may not have a need or not have the ability to don footwear.

What is the purpose of wearing shoes anyway? We can look at shoes as protecting our feet and providing comfort on the city streets, or we can see them as fashion statements that determine our social status and identify our wealth.

Do take some time though, if you can find a safe place and roam shoeless. There's nothing like the feeling of cool plush grass beneath your toes on a warm summer day...

Paz.

Sent by me via my BB!

You, "The fairest of them all"

Down to the wire with an hour left to post...yikes! Time sure does fly when you're preoccupied!

Life before mirrors has its merits. You are not as concerned with how you look to others because you cannot see what you look like. There was less emphasis on enhancement and more focus on survival.

Nowadays, we look to ourselves as we pass by our reflection. Some of us enamored with our own appearance, some hoping what is inside will be reflected with favor.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?


Paz.

What do you MEAN it's not working?!!!!

The many Mountain Dews and Coca Colas consumed during college years...We've all be introduced to things that wake us up and keep us going.

Prior to those additions, the day started with sun and ended with sunset. There was no turning on lights, letting the oil burn all night or maxing out energy needed to fully function for the new day ahead.

We've instead incorporated longer work days, less time for naps, and late unproductive nights filled with flickering web pages and television screens. All this to get up and do it again - wash, rinse, repeat.

The incorporation of caffeine into one's diet can be beneficial, harmful, and expensive. Especially if you are stalking these guys every morning... It can also be inconvenient when you are unable to get what your palate most desires - hence today's blog title.

There is also a joy in discovering the brewed stuff. Christoph Niemann, who does the Abstract City Blog for the New York Times gives a great account of his before and after coffee experience, enjoy it here.

Paz.

FML

No, I am not implying what you are thinking.

Prior to Facebook, many of us used instant messenger to connect, used cellphones, two way pagers, pagers (like, seriously.), and dare I say, wrote letters. A fellow blog challenger had the right idea for today's post, and some good advice for us techno-drones.

In using those methods of communication we kept what needed to be communicated sent and what we wanted communicated, said over the phone or in person.

Now, depending on our comfort and sharing levels, we put the most intimate things on Facebook (and everywhere else for that matter). Does this fill the void of seeing the shock or look of pity from a friend's face after revealing a secret? Nope. Will the friend requests and acceptance or ignores build/break ties? Maybe. If we take notice, it is the in person follow ups or prologues that determine friendship which does of course happen, offline.

Just take care if you are going to take the "Facebook My Life" road, you don't want to end up saying "FML" (now I am implying what you are thinking) later.

Funnies about online social media...

Paz.

This one goes out, to all my fellow Blog Challengers :)

Scripted

...


Those were the days. But why was writing in cursive so dang on important? Words written in print are just as good...aren't they? Cursive writing gives an elegance to words but gives us such a hard time if we are not well developed.

Script vs. Print issues aside, we now find ourselves having this issue more often, and realizing that our script isn't good enough for others to view. Oh indeed it is good enough. Although, there is a reason why those who are not great with writing have been said to use "chicken scratch."

You know, with this whole blog them progression, I have realized that chickens are often the subject of many jokes...

::sigh:: and pa'lante pollo, pa'lante!

Paz.